I have been doodling my emotions since 3:30pm… Ah.

I have been doodling my emotions since 3:30pm… Ah.

Mostly I am holding my breath

waiting for the doctors to tell me I am okay- that I can run and dance again. Waiting for an employers to have me on full time. Waiting to know where and when I will move into a place of my very own. Waiting to get rid of my chest pains and my anxiety so they are not crippling me daily. I don’t want to hide in my bed trying to get rid of the knots in my chest counting and deep breathing and listening to meditation tapes hoping I can find calm. I am waiting to stop feeling oppressed. To stop feeling the weird competition or judgement because I am a woman. I am waiting to get rid of the memories or even just live with the memories that made me feel abused in a place where I should have been respected and honored. I am waiting, waiting, waiting, trying to know how many steps I need to take, how long or how soon I will be treated like a human being overall in this life. How long or how soon will I feel like a productive and generous human being that only knows how to lift others up and remove worry. When will this be? When will I release my breath and be able to feel free?

loand-behold:

Hey

My friend Lauren is one of the most adorable humans.

NJ friends/musicians/women everywhere

loand-behold:

I’m currently working on a zine highlighting women musicians and artists in north jersey.

I want to identifying the problems in north jersey (essentially a male dominated scene/women are ignored and not given equal attention, there are few safe spaces for women to perform in, etc).

I’m also…

Feeling weak

Comes with severe red meat cravings.
Ugh.

lovelylittlebear:

High-Speed photographs of ink dropped into water.

(Source: tainted-imagination)

  

(Source: 00sjams)

Blitz September 1988 Ph. Guido Pretzl

(Source: mariah-do-not-care-y)

biomorphosis:

Saiga is a type of antelope. They are known for their huge, inflatable, and humped nose which help them to filter out airborne dust during the dry summer migrations, and filter out cold air before it reaches their lungs during winter. They are a migratory species, migrating in the summer and winter and can run up to 80 miles per hour in a short time.

Local people kill saiga because of its meat and horns. Horns are used in traditional Chinese medicine. Saiga is listed as critically endangered species and were once in the millions but today only less than 50,000 left in the wild.

Dinner with ex’s mom

was lovely.
I know that sounds weird, but it was.